Due to an increase dosage of hormones, im feeling super emo. Especially at night. This is really bad.. i feel sad when im alone but i cant possibly get hub to stay hime 24/7. Am i willing to go through this again? I dont know. It is too emotionally taxing… i hate it that i cant control the situation, and i failed to make myself feel better. Even simple things like getting food. I feel bad asking hub to da bao for me.

It is late at night n i dont dare to sleep again. Not that im not sleepy. I just dont wanna fall asleep. Afraid of things happening while im asleep.